Monday, October 15, 2012 12:18 AM
What went wrong?
I asked myself this: how can you hurt someone this much and yet he still hurt you at the same time.
I never felt this alone in awhile. Or things were that fragile.
I look through our memorabilia envelope and i looked through all our letters, cards, photos even postcards. And all i could think of was nothing. I had a 1000 things running through the back of my mind yet none of them could pop out and strike my senses.
Someone said this, something had to be right in the first place that you fell for him.
True. Very true. But when i think of you. Not even a fraction or shadow of that person exist anymore. Isit because the memory of what i have of you back then too good or that what is left of you now is so bad?
Be it my fault or yours, i wont deny, both of us have been hurt pretty bad. Some knowingly, some unknowingly. between the both of us, theres no need to say who broke more promises or who dealt more hurt to the other. Cause we both are guilty of it. But i guess i would be the ultimate winner if we have to choose anyway.
Things have become this point, there really is no need to blame anyone but myself. Be it bipolar or the ever changing mood of mine. Or was it when i decided i wont do things your way anymore?
Right now, i only want to focus on the good thing, best things, qualities of you. The you i fell for. I dont want to save anymore of that ugly truth we have.
I just want the chapter to close with the beautiful memories i hope i can remember.
