Too much to say recently and not enough words to express myself. I might have failed in ways more than I should, but I'm trying my best to be whatever I can to you. When everyone is stretching you too thin and when everyone pushes you to your limit and they still feel you are not doing enough. Hate to say this but I'm tired.


First time in my life I'm grateful for the distance between us.
For the first time I'm thankful my job brings me away for awhile. Cause for now I can't look at you and say I'm fine. Cause I'm not. I cant look at us and pretend it doesn't affect us cause it does.
For the first time I ask myself the value of me in you, I came up blank. Past remains past. I have my own too. And for once I'm telling myself to let it slide. I hate myself for thinking like that, but can you see where I'm coming from? 江山易改，本性难移。太多的不安全感。如果每天玩惯，会有定下的那天吗？我不是你原本会喜欢的女生。我一点也不自主，我不会容忍就算是一点花心，我不成熟，我还有一大堆的不安全感，我有我的情绪。我需要的远远超越我说的。早该接受的事实，只有我傻傻的以为不会发现。所有人都说，只是我执意要相信。太多的问号只有行动能回答。如果我对你重要，你会一次一次的伤害我吗？你的伤害可能是无心的，可是不代表我不会痛。不代表我的心不会一点一点的冷却。我需要一个人想清楚，爱你的代价，现在已经超出我的负荷。



5 days till I see sweets again. Imu!!
too clingy for my own good
* chant personal space*
* start writing life besides him*
*still not working* arghhhh!!!!!

Anyway while sweets is away, he's still trashing me on words and scramble!! I still love you though! Cause you're the only person who plays 9 scramble with me at the same time!! like a mad but I likkeeee.
Come back soonn my love.


14th:
Finally took my diver card!! "Baby! Hurry go take open waters then we can dive together.=] "
Then we met Philip, Kate and han for Korean BBQ with BNJ for dessert. All the while trying to play Draw Something. Hees.

15th:
Woke up just in time to prepare and went down stc to meet Ash love after his sep. waited for over an hour for him. Well, testing my patience! everytime I get angry, I tell myself he has no say on what time he ends.=X that bugger brought me to wild wild wet at downtown east. Had fun! But no pictures folks.

16th:
Dined and wine-d with clement before meeting love and gang for some more draw something.=]

17th:
Supposed to wake up early to go kart with love. But being the pig I'm.(^00)^) of course I cant wake up. Hahas. Went rp for some reading and slacking before going to the airport to send dad off=x. Then had Thai dinner with Vince and baby at this industrial place we wanted to go
* happily strike that off to do list*
and baby stayed with me.=]]

And it's back to work for me! Damn!! <|3


Each time you say things like that, I ask myself why am I still here. Why do I bother waiting for you to realise that it's more than just a word. And every time I ask myself if this is what I want, what I need. Someone who walked away from me.
Love comes in all forms, ours just happen to be the abstract kind.
Just so you know, my heart numbed and dies a little inside, every time you hurt me unknowingly.
If you treat me as something you treasure, you won't do anything to hurt me ever.
So what exactly am I?

And I know tonight I wont be able to sleep a wink


Tagged along with ash love on his Beijing flt. Went to great wall of china with that bugger. Was really nice as the weather wasn't as bad as the first time I went and all around there's botak trees which I love. Of course add in ash and it's complete.=]


Nothing much on this Bintan trip. Most of it is just spent relaxing and I appreciate the fact that Jem didn't mind not doing anything but just sit by the pool and chat or just watch movie.

This trip made me realised lots of stuff. And most of it is negative. Last time im asking myself this, is this what i really want?!! Like a seriously?!!


If given a chance Earlier, I would have jumped at it without second thought, but now I can't. Cause being Tgt means being responsible for the person's feelings 24/7. And I know same situation, I won't be able to understand too, although I won't say anything. HOWEVER, It's a chance outta hell hole. Know what that means? Any idea how happy the thought is?!

i’m just who I am, who I suppose to be.
bold italic underline strike


February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
October 2012