Someone recently asked me what is it that I want in life.
To be honest, get out of this shit hell hole.Just walk away.
To be specific, I just want my own life. A life where I don't have to be responsible for anyone else but me.
To be really frank, i just want to come home to someone. It the thought that you have someone who you can depend on. It's the thought that you have someone who you shares your life with. It's going home to somewhere where you know that someone is waiting for you just cause he/she wants to see you and not anything else.
In short, I just want someone to build a relationship with.

I always feel being surrounded and yet feels like I'm alone. Like people around you are just strangers, yet strangers you know. It's kinda selfish. Most people would love to have an emotional independent other half isn't it? Yet, sad to say, I'm just exactly the kind that drag you down through the shit with me.
Today, I asked myself, would I be able to depend on someone who would walk away from me. And I couldn't answer. Is this the person who I could trust? If he had thought about how it affects me before he did that, why did he still do it? It may be a small thing to everyone, but to me, its the feeling of being left alone behind.I have had enough people who walked away, I need someone who stays with me, no matter how hard it is to. Im asking for the impossible.


Went USS with ash love on our off day. I will let the pics do the talking. Cause there's just too much fun moments to write!


Came back from BNE with ash love at the airport. <3Was surprised to say he was there cause we didn't exactly part on a happy note. He gave me with this polar bear that's just so damn cute!

Besides that I came home to a brand new s95!! Wanted it for awhile but due to certain reasons I have never bear to splurge on it. Was damn damn ecstatic when I saw it just innocently sitting on my table. <3 you Vince!
Not forgetting my lovely set of crew who got me a card and some bubble tea.=]
And all the others who celebrated it with me!=]]]]


Had a birthday dinner with my family at some ulu place at sinming. We didn't book a place and it's full so we ended up at some corner where they set up a extra table.where it's a unique experience!

After that Imran came to pick me up. And he surprised me with balloon and keekeow wearing a birthday hat!<3 we met up with ade love at butter where we celebrated my birthday. Adam came to surprise me too!! Sooo happppyyyyy!!

Thanks 2/3 of my love for spending it with me!! Appreciate it lots!! The 1/3 of my love is currently lost in NRT. But I still got his wishes!<3


Went to sensation for a drink with the FSs on my FRA flt. Just nice she called another gs who I did a CDG with. And we have fun Tgt, until the singer started singing birthday song and they wanted me to go onto the stage, of course I refused. But then, after that was disaster when everyone wanted to have a drink with you. Left the Thai club high.
Was so tempted to just crash at his place but I didn't. It's knowing you have work the next day despite us wanting to make plans to celebrate my bdae Tgt. It's not that I don't understand that it was a last min thing. It's the fact that i have to be understanding about it all. I'm always gonna come after your work and entertainment, even when it's my birthday.It's the fact that I'm on my off day and you still have to work. You may be busy the whole day working, but just a text is too much to ask for? I need to have self respect for myself.



On this coming birthday, I just had to get myself something. So a picture and a card! My fave characters!<3


You may be far far far away from me, yet some how part of you are still beside me!=]]


Are we still looking at the same direction?


Spent valentines in Frankfurt alone with none of my love by my side. But lucky I had a awesome set of crew who became my part time dates!

More awesome than that, I received a letter from my not so secret admirer. Made my FRA trip one of those more memorable ones.=]

The better part will be receiving my first birthday present onboard by my LS zul. Totally unexpected but he got me the cuddles bear from Krisshop itself. At first,I thought he was making fun of me by saying that's my birthday present. But then it was real. =]]

Then coming home to another present from my admirer. Was a really thoughtful gift.=]]] and typing this make me miss you tons!

Somehow every one of these incidents make me cope with the fact that we are apart.=| the snow is for you!<3

i’m just who I am, who I suppose to be.
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